LOVE

          As I sit and think about the thoughtless and unknowing ways I gave my heart to men I loved or thought I've loved, and the way it repaid me, makes me question loves motives, and why is it so important to Jesus that we love everyone unconditionally as he does us; almost seems impossible, when time after time our hearts are broken to the point of how do I return, how do I continue to love one who is unappreciative and undeserving of such sacrificial acts. Just the thought of it makes me want to regret not saving my heart for the one who was customized only for me, but if I did, I wouldn't be who I am today. I guess it's fair to say that I'm a sucker for love, as my ex use to say; disregarding the fact that he was unable to love anyone, justifies how humans are so numb to the outcome of Love's credentials.

          Love is the foundation needed no matter what you do in life whether right or wrong. It's a fight, a yearning sensation deep down in your soul, you can't deny it, you can hide it, love can't be replaced, and no matter how hard you try, you can't escape it. The difference between the love I gave away before that didn't love me back, and the love I have now found, is the kind of love that won't fail me, won't leave me, won't forget me, and will never, ever, mistreat me. His passion is compassion for the many times I broke his heart. For the times I left him standing all alone to be with another, for the three times I gave myself away to become someones mother, in another man's bed while he was at home waiting for me to walk through the door, and greet him like every night before.

         Never once thinking about the way that made him feel when all he ever did was love me the exact way I searched, and longed for while in the right places at the wrong time. When I think about all the pain and suffering he went through just for me, breaks my heart and brings me to my knees begging for him not to leave me. In need of one more chance so that I can show Him, now I understand, how much I need him as I seek his face pleading for forgiveness of my sins, when I get lost in this ugly place sparkled with diamonds and pearls, filled with enough deception for every woman, boy, man, and girl.

          The only way you can understand the way I feel about the wrong love the world gives or what people who consume it portrays and mimics real love to be, that only leaves us so empty and feeling all alone, filled with unsufficiency, and spiritually cursed, is to be not conformed to it, but be ye transformed from it, by renewing your mind and the love you seek won't be blind, and no matter how long it takes it will definitely be on time.



                                                              -Ethel Robertson-